it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
