Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
