think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
