I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
