The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
