So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
