Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So much Jack, so little girl.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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