# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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