And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oh god it's open bar.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
