Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
