I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
