I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Randomize
