Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize