What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
