Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
