my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
