if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
