You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
