Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
