Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
