my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
40s are totally the cure
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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