guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
