just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
