Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
