saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
