Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
