you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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