Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
