Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
