i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
