I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
