he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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