Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
