I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
