Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
