you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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