I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
