Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
