Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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