i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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