Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
