I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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