You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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