I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
