why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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