The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love having hate sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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