i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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