Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I FOUND THE LEGS
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
