Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
