Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
sex in a hospital.. check
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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