I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
