i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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