She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
