if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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