I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
