i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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