Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wish my penis had a tongue
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
