"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
