just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
