5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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