Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
