You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
