sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
