I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
