It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
