just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
